Shake

How do you stand this feeling of loneliness? It takes you, it stucks your throat, when you are lucky you are able to cry, otherwise you just stay there in this melancholic mood and stare at your life flowing. And actually you are surrounded from love and you know you should just look at the half of the glass that is full of tasteful red wine. But that lonely bed, falling asleep on your own night after night, doing the shopping just for yourself, building your routine just around yourself. Well, I did all of this already for a long time and I'm tired of that. I want to "shake because I love, because I care, 'cause I'm alive". I want to give my love to someone who wants it. I want a couple of eyes in which I can then mirror myself. I don't want to become a selfish person with its own routine who has not time anymore to feel. And I perfecly know that being in a couple does not necessarily mean happiness... But in this moment all I want to do is screaming. I will just drink a tea and read a magazine in the evening night.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZVlVgpghA4

I've been walking, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

Lately, I've been walking, walking in circles
Watching, waiting for something
Feel me, touch me, heal me
Come take me higher

Smiles, now!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6xVCTDwYEM

Living my time

and living it from inside

Living my time

is an inner equilibrium

drop by drop

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8yVGcL8lkU&feature=related

The light, that draws shadows, is magic,

the mind, from where curiosity for new underwater worlds comes, is magic.

And every instant the fantastic device, which drop by drop creates a sea inside me, comes to life again.

...

A more active choice

to look for joy

would help me to better focus

my energy.

Trembling souls

Every morning is different. Every wake up is different.

Some mornings life is easy. Some others it is hard. And this difference is not always strictly related to your life conditions. Maybe you have everything that matters in your life (health, family, friends, love, money, satisfying job) and still you aren't ok. Or vice versa. 

It happens to me. I feel restless, unable to relax, in constant activity or motion, without any chance of emotional rest. And in those days life is harder. I look for consolation, for peace. And sometimes I find it in the wrong way. magnolia says I should stop and think on those days. Think about what's happening around me. Try to understand what I'm feeling in that moment and what is the thing that could help me. There and in that right moment. 

Stay in the present. Learn to relax. To smile to life. To think that everything will be fine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cssbQoDoHr0

Tension strikes
Choking me
Worries grow

Why do I feel so numb
Is it something to do with where I come from
Should this be fight or flight
I don't know why I'm constantly so uptight

Bonn-Bonns

Some weeks ago I was in Bonn, the ex capital city of West Germany. There you can visit for free the House of history, telling the history of Germany after the Second World War. The most exciting part was about the fall of that wall.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmNR-AtnGQs&feature=related

All those people passing under the Brandenburger Tor, celebrating the re-union of the country. That came when nobody was expecting that to happen anymore.

...why did Germans stop celebrating?

the emotion of love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3r_H2r--mY

Our love grows so well,
I do not want to abandon
this shy shoot.
I do not want to wake you up, velvet skin,

because of the cold frost

you would think of a farewell.

I just go to collect my clothes
and to kill the past, now there is you.

Woman, my lover, woman poetry,
I warmed you, scared squirrel,
and the morning after you were a woman;
if I lost you I would go away defeated,
that would be too much and perhaps you are,
a woman a little longer, I shall return.
How difficult to explain
to a woman her role,
when you want to leave her,
she caresses my body and inside she dies,
how sad to make love if she is not with you.

Woman, my lover, woman of the farewell,
scared squirrel, what will you do
and who will notice that you are a woman;
I'll look for you, my sweet lover,
but I know you, you will answer no,
and here on your door I will die.
I'll look for you, my sweet lover,
but I know you, you will answer no,
and here on your door I will die.

DREAMERSing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDRxl-Pe_Bw&feature=related

...strange movie... entangling feelings, when what one feels goes beyond definitions, and the role of conventions appears strong and determines one's behavior. When history happens in one place and in that particular time and it will never be the same again... when you watch and you think "I wanted to be there"...


I'm gonna leave any minute
See the skyline disappear
Head out of the city
Burn my clothes bury my fears

Oh you will never know I was here

Tell me now is there difference
Between a shark and the ghost of a shark
'Cause all I have are secrets and memories of the dark
Oh rip away the skin burn my heart

I'm gonna leave any minute
Another skyline disappears
Sunlight in the mirror
Blinding me all these years
Oh am I coming back
I'll never leave
Oh am I coming back
I'll never leave

The monster

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=374969729

I f***ing suffer from manias of persecution,
when I go around the street I'm ready to the execution,
when I'm smiling it's because I'm pretending to be an actor,
when I'm rolling a joint I dream of being elsewhere,
and I feel my heavy head thinking,
and I feel me myself more and more distant unravelling,
and I feel protected in my armor,
but from here I do not perceive anymore the smell of the sea,
and it is not normal, I lay in the background,
the monster that stares at me, exorcist music,
reminds me that I never the same like you,
it reminds me that I never like now
and now I want the fight club, Edward Norton
feel the blood flowing inside my body
to feel less dead, this is the essence:
here no one dies of love, one can only die without.

do you have it?

Do you also have a passion that you used to practice when you were a child? Then you gave up. For many different reasons. But you always regretted that choice.

Maybe it was more than one passion. And I'm not referring to the one that you gave up because it was boring for you. I refer to that instrument, sport, game that used to relax you and make you feel special, in harmony with nature around you.

For me that was jazz dance. I gave up when I was 10 because when there was dance class I had to go to school, on Monday and Wednesday afternoons. I would anyway not have had the right "body", but I was good and I had a lot of fun. It was me and the music and the steps, that after some time you can dance automatically, without thinking, and you just have to remember to smile and enjoy.

I never thought about that. maybe my habit to be always smiling comes from dancing. The teacher often told us to be smiling!

After that, years later, I started again attending aerobics and step classes, again music, again rhythm. I always like this kind of things. And now I'm attending again a jazz dance class :)