dear ...

to write or not to write? what to write? who is the person I'm writing to? it looks to me like I don't know you anymore. I don't know exactly why this complete silence, I can imagine, but not really understand.

So I write. Maybe. One year has past. I've cried, tried to get angry with you, undestood, closed that chapter and then opened it again a thousand times. I've looked into other eyes, opened my hearth to someone else and then again closed it. It sounds horrible to me, but I've probably learnt to use people for what I need in that moment. To be selfish. This is the bad heritage I have from our story. Together with the hope that one day I will feel that kind of feelings again. Because I had never been so high before. And till now I didn't manage it again.

I know that I would make it easier if I wouldn't talk about my inner life and just talk of what I do and happens, but that wouldn't be me. And "I hope you had the time of your life." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClhNPb3mmpI

Not much more to say, I think.
Good night,

magnolia