just there

Und sie träumt von Chicago, von Chicago
Irgendwo wo sie keiner kennt
Und sie träumt von Chicago, von Chicago
Dort wo niemand, niemand ihren Namen nennt

Mit ihrem sonnigen Traum vor Augen
Läuft sie durch den Regen
Und jeden den sie auf der Straße trifft
Erzählt sie, sie wär da gewesen

run

light up light up
as if you have a choice

surrender

It's not meant to be a strife
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill
Oh I
It's not meant to be a strife
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill
Oh I

You're trying too hard
Surrender
Give yourself in
You're trying too hard
You're trying too hard, ah

It's not meant to be a strife
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill
Sweetly
It's not meant to be as dry
To enjoy
It's not meant to be a stuggle uphill
Oh I

It's warmer now
Lean into it
Unfold
Unfold in a generous way
Surrender

It's not meant to be as dry (surrender)
It's not meant (undo) to be a struggle uphill (undo)
It's not meant to be as dry
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill

I'm praying
To be
In a generous mode
The kindness kind
The kindness kind
To share
Me
To share me

It's not meant to be as dry
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill

It's not meant to be as dry
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill

Undo
Undo
If you're bleeding
Undo
And if you're sweating
Undo
If you're crying, darling
Undo

(never) again

those words, that sentence keep echoing in my mind. it sounds so definitive. where should I find the strength to fight this time? I hardly believe that your feelings can grow. I believed in that once. And it didn't happen. And now I believed it could have happened with you. But it's already the second time that I crash against reality.

And if I should focus on me? If this time it doesn't matter and I should just give up? Now.

You are just scared to be alone. To lose your source of good mood. This is what I think.

Maybe you will surprise me. May. Be.

sleeping

who knows if you are sleeping,
what are you thinking...

snow

this morning I left my apartment and I started my adventure in the snow, 30 to 50 centimetres of snow. Till my knees (I'm not very tall!). But the sun is shining, though one can hardly feel the warmth. It's -23°C. I probably was never in suc ha cold place. Apart from the frozen stuff department in Italian supermarkets.

When I breathe I produce some warmth in my scarf and then it freezes!

When I finally got to the offce...my adapter for laptop was not working anymore! Damn! But a good excuse to leave work and go to the bookstore at the Union. Where a blue-eyed guy sent me an amazing adapter..

And of course also today I saw a guy in shorts....

please

and I live on
this feeling
the greatest of all feelings
tellin' me not to grow cold

please help me get through
and let me in you

the gun

Doch gerade in letzter Zeit merke ich immer wieder, dass ich nicht in der Lage bin deine Gefühle zu erwidern. Ich komme mir oft sehr kalt dir gegenüber vor.

padremadre

Father, yellow and tired eyes,
in his eyebrows his pain to tell to me...
Mother, long skirt to her hips,
on his cheeks the years and the dinners with relatives ...
Can't you hear me? Or you do not listen to me,
while I cry with closed eyes under the bed.
Father, and if I miss you
it is because I gave more importance to my complaints ...
Mother, why are you crying?
But didn't you tell me that each tear is a secret?
And I believe it, but I don't see you
while I shout and sing my first notes!

But if there isn't a song that can take my place,
here it is, it is as if you were with me!

Father, a thousand years,
and how many bombs have exploded in your memory!
Mother, among your jewelry
am I still the most precious diamond?
But you do not listen to me, you do not hear me,
while I depart on the ship of the powerful ones!

...

Father, yellow and tired eyes,
try still to enlighten me with your sayings ...
Mother, throw the clothes,
and try again, if you want, to cuddle me,
because I miss you,
and if I am been so far it was just to save me!
So far it was only to save me!
So far it was only to save me!

distance

And in the day, everything's complex,
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.

But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby!
And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. Hey, baby...

beat

today I danced in my apartment. I missed dancing.
I started with an unusual song for me and continued with my "u gotta move" favorites!

up-date

soooooooo... also here in the American mid-west I already found a couple of nice people. Some Italians, some international, no American. Here the weather is freezing, always below zero, and since yesterday it's snowing a little. At the weekend I'll hopefully go and watch an ice hockey game. I wanted to watch baseball or football, but they're not playing in this season. And I finally found the bug in my program....at least one bug :) and I'm falling...

today

I would need a friend