I'll protect you

I'll protect you from the fears of your hypochondria, 
from the anxieties that you'll meet on your way, 
from injustices and deceptions of your time, 
from failures that you'll attract because of your nature. 
I'll cheer you up from pain and from your sudden changes of mood, 
from the obsessions of your manias. 
I'll overcome gravity currents, 
space and light 
not to make you grow old. 
And you'll heal from any disease, 
because you are a special creature
and I will, I'll take care of you. 

I was wandering through the fields of Tennessee 
(who knows how I had arrived there), 
"Don't you have white flowers for me?". 
My dreams cross the sea faster than eagles. 

In particular I'll bring you silence and patience. 
We'll walk together along the streets leading to the essence. 
The scents of love will inebriate our bodies, 
the August calm won't be able to calm down our senses. 
I'll weave your hair as wefts of a song. 
I know the laws of the world, and I'll gift you with them. 
I'll overcome gravity currents, 
space and light 
not to make you grow old.
I'll save you from any melancholy, 
because you are a special creature
and I will, I'll take care of you...

Yes I will, I'll take care of you...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IldsVLoXLk

sad

Being sad.
I had forgotten how warm can the family be.
I am surprised of how strong can be a feeling after these months in which I have not seen you anymore. I wonder in which direction I am walking.
It's freezing cold out there. But I'll travel to warm places.
Imagining to take a train, visit your city and then calling you "do you have any free time today?". What would I understand if I see you? What would you understand?
mumbling mumbling

Purple

Purple washes over me
Seeping through my open seams
I'm stained all over

You pretend we've started again
Waiting for me to say when
But I say purple

She won't go
Where I
I would go for you
I'd curse my heart
For you

Silence makes a girl talk fast
Speeding but I'm gonna crash
And burn for loves sake

Duty keeps a lover loyal
(But) is it really worth the spoils
When I dream purple

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cRn4utf9Pk

ur wild side

They said, hey sugar, take a walk on the wild side
I said, hey babe, take a walk on the wild side

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZ88oTITMoM

how does ur wild side look like? cappuccino at midnight? crazily dancing on the dance floor? dressing in yellow and violet? wild sex? wild words? wild feelings?

fields of gold

See the west wind move like a lover so 
Upon the fields of barley 
Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth 
Among the fields of gold 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UppX6vP3c4g

I'm also waiting for walking in fields of gold. I thought I had met the person. But at the moment he is just a clew of feelings, images and moments. And I wish you merry Christmas, but I do not know which words are the most appropriate...

war

...Christmas night is approaching, christmas songs...

"war is over if you want it" 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaQ0JHq5s7A

...but what if this year the biggest war is inside you, against that part of you, the one it is hard to deal with? looking for peace....

Love lasts three years

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8hbH2GaJrk&feature=related

Our generation is too superficial for marriage. People get married as if they were going to Mc Donald's. Then they zap.
How do you believe that people can stay with the same person for life, in the society of generalized zapping? In times when stars, political men, arts, sexes, religions are more interchangeable than ever, why should the amorous feeling be the exception to the general schizophrenia? And then, first of all, where does this strange obsession to try at all costs to be happy with just one person come from?
Out of 558 types of human society only 24% is monogamous. A large fraction of the animal species is polygamous.
Marriage is like having caviar at each meal, an indigestion of what we love till we get sick.
"Come on, have some more of it!"
"What?! You have enough of it?!"
"But if you find it delicious, you found it delicious some minutes ago. What happened? Can you tell me?"

The incredible power of love must have scared the western society to the point that it created this system aimed at making you feel disgust for what you love. An American researcher recently proved that unfaithfulness is biologic. Unfaithfulness, according to this well-known scientist, is a genetic strategy aimed at promoting the survival of the species. Try to imagine the scene.
"Dear, I din't cheat on you for my personal pleasure, I did it for the survival of the species. You can also not care about it, but someone has to engage himself for the survival of the species. Maybe you think that I do it for fun!".

I'm never satisfied. When I like a girl, I want to fall in love with her. When I've fallen in love with her, I want to kiss her. When I've kissed her, I want to sleep with her. And when I've slept with her, I want to live with her in a furnished apartment. When I'm living with her in a furnished apartment, I want to marry her. When I've married her, I meet another girl that I like.
Man is an unsatisfied animal, hesitating among different frustrations. If women wanted to play cunningly, they would refuse to sleep with a man, so that he would run after them for life.

The only question in love is: when does one start lying? Are you always so happy to go back home and find the same person waiting for you? When you say "I love you", do you really always mean it?
There will always be - it's fatal - a moment in which you will have to make an effort to say it, in which your "I love you" will not have the same taste anymore. For me that moment was represented by shaving. I used to shave myself every evening in order not to sting Annie when kissing her at night. And then, one evening, she had already felt asleep, I had gone out without her till dawn - typical shameful kind of behavior that one allows himself with the excuse of being married - I didn't shave. I thought it was not important because she wouldn't have noticed it. Instead it simply meant that I didn't love her anymore.

read by Fabio Volo, freely translated from me

Memories of the hearth

You,
hopes that I hoped,
my smiles and my tears,
promises of cheerfulness
and dreams to which I flied
and my ruthless first love,
you are for me
lost and never lost.

I felt passion for you,
I swore on you
and I was tormented with you.
It seems nothing, but the hearth was mine,
then there was you...

The wind will blow,
the rain will fall down,
the fog will veil,
the sun will shine strong.
And the memory, the memory of you
never passes by,
never passes by.

How good were those kisses between us,
maybe you never want to stop,
I can see you through my wet eyes.
If you like it and if you still want it,
in the memory everything becomes possible again
even without us.
You are also here
in my hearth.

Memories never pass by,
here they are,
they are much stronger than we are,
they are still alive.

The day the Earth stood still...

If the Earth dies, you die. If you die, the Earth survives.

And remember that human beings are so astonishing because they have the faculty to change, evolve...

swans

Walking by yourself in the cold, cold winter
Wrapped up in your coat like
It's a magic blanket
You say: "No matter where I go
They all look like strangers"
You see, the world only seems
The fairytale that it isn't

Dream on, dream on
There's nothing wrong
If you dream on, dream on
Of being a swan

But I know you're thinking...

And now you're looking at the sky
Talking to your angel
Could he turn this dirty street
Into a flying carpet?
But then you say: "I am not scared of anything"
Such a shy lie silent as the snow that is fallin' down

Dream on, dream on
There's nothing wrong
If you dream on, dream on
Of being a swan

But I know you're thinking:
"Am I gonna make it through?"
Dream on, dream on (and you can't run away)
There's nothing wrong (you've got to find a way to make it through this mess)
If you dream on, dream on ('cause you can't run away)
Of being a swan (you've got to find a way, a way out of this mess)

But I know you're thinking: ('cause you can't run away)
"Am I gonna make it though?" (you've got to find a way to make it through this mess)

Girl on the run (go girl)
You don't look back (go)
What did you see? (go girl)
What did you get? (go girl)
You're on the run (go girl)
Trying to forget (go)
But in the end,
Is it so bad?

Girl on the run (go girl)
You don't look back (go)
What did you see? (go girl)
What did you get? (go girl)
You're on the run (go girl)
Trying to forget (go)
But in the end (go girl)
Is it so bad... (go)
Being a girl?
Being a girl?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYMl-oVvbWY&feature=related

overworking brain

Have you ever had the sensation that your mind is full of things and it doesn't stop? and also when you finally sleep, if by chance you wake up, the brain starts immediately working again...You think what you have to do during the day, if you have eaten too much the day before, that you should do the washing, that you should remember to buy a Christmas gift for your flatmate, that tomorrow you should remember to take that book with you, and so on... No peace, no rest.

pull things out of yourself

Why can't I bring out things just in a normal way?!? maybe shouting, maybe crying, maybe running.

I also use these ways. But from time to time I like to punish myself, in different ways. That's my way of escaping perfection maybe.

...what is normality? what is illness? magnolia gives me answers, but I cannot always stick to rationality... fighting with myself

Wait

Eight people late at night sitting in my room. Some are friends, some I got to know that night itself. Wine, music, many languages. Lives which cross each other.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=895x2aCdDcM

You did not dare say a single word,
I did not dare ask for something more
I’ve kept my questions secret deep inside,
but I wish I could have let you know about
a time when I would have said:

"Wait, and please stay."
Did you mean to push me away?
"Please wait and just stay."
Did you want it to be this way?

Would you want to know what I've been through?
(through all this time... all this time)
Would you want to know I have missed you too?
(and I have you on my mind)
And you've been and you will be a part of me.
(that I can't find)
And you've been forgiven for your silence
all this time when I would have said:

"Wait, and please stay."
Did you mean to push me away?
"Please wait and just say:
Is there a way that could replace
the times you never said
"How've you been?"
"Do you need anything?"
"I want you to know I'm here."
"I want you to feel me near"?

Yeah...and I hope,
I hope that you will find your way.
Yeah...and I hope,
I hope there will be better days.

Please wait, and just stay
(Please stay)
Did you mean to push me away?
Please wait, and just stay
(Wait, just stay)
Did you want it to be this way?
Wait, please say
(Yeah, and I hope)
I hope that you will find your way
Please wait, and just stay
(Wait, and I hope)
I hope there will be better days

Hey hey...

Wait
Please stay
Just stay
Please wait

Twin star, i.e. soul mate (stella gemella)

And it is again loneliness.
Also tonight I will feel
my heart beating on and off -
time of love that never ends, oh no ...

My inner part - that you know -
lives a time more difficult than ever.
It is not enough having no contact anymore,
it was useless dealing with everything,
if then my way of feeling
fragile still remains.

I would like to know if you do exist
or if you are just a useless flight...

Where are you, my soul?
I waste away without you.
Where are you, beautiful soul,
where are you?

My heart beats on and off - season of love -
I'm looking so hard for you
that my eyes are aching now...

Where are you, my soul?
I waste away without you.
Where are you, beautiful soul?
Twin star, where are you?

Maybe you are behind the moon
as the most hidden dream.
Can't you see that I live for you?
Where are you?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYc7g9CsNCY

Light up

http://hypem.com/track/492135/Leona+Lewis-Run+%28Snow+Patrol+Cover%29

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up...

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

The unsustainable heaviness of being

Sometimes you observe your life and you are not able to really determine it. You should work more, eat less, do more sport, stay positive, but you cannot help yourself in doing that. Life is just the same, but it's so hard to deal with it. It's hard brushing your teeth and come to the office on Monday, debugging a code and doing the washing.

And life as it was 6 months ago seemed so easy. Or at least this is what you can remember.