nebbia

oggi mi sento un po' un fallimento a livello umano.

mi sento un po' morta dentro. poche nuove amicizie. quando ne cerco una nuova, il tentativo sembra cadere nel nulla. quelle vecchie sembrano un po' annoiarsi, come un pomeriggio d'estate su una collina assolata.

e quando mi sembra che un contatto, una piccola luce di intrecciarsi d'anime faccia capolino... bhe', mi ritrovo ad essere sola a pensarla cosi'. mi sembra che la mia famosa aurea sia nascosta da una nebbia e non so come sbarazzarmi di questa nebbia. e dietro questa nebbia sono abbastanza tranquilla. ma anche un po' stufa di trovarmi li' da sola.

notti insonni

avevo un amico di notti insonni. purtroppo credo di averlo perso along the way.

peccato. e ora le notti insonni sono un po' più solitarie.

il meccansimo

domande lasciate aperte. mai risposte. chissà se ne riceveranno mai una.

chissà.

oggi mi hai mandato un sms. dopo anni di silenzio, o quasi. dopo anni di indifferenza. e hai risvegliato un po' di cose. quella insicurezza. quella paura che non sarò mai come gli altri. quella paura di rimanere sempre e comunque in seconda fila. perchè a me si vuole bene da subito. ma mai più di quello. perchè io sono l'amica di. punto.

...ti pensavo. quanti ricordi... quante esperienze... quanti momenti belli o meno... mi manchiamo. ti voglio bene magnolia.

sea each other

If our friendship depends on things like space and time, then when we finally overcome space and time, we've destroyed our own brotherhood! But overcome space, and all we have left is Here. Overcome time, and all we have left is Now. And in the middle of Here and Now, don't you think that we might see each other once or twice?

Jonathan Livingston

sere

memory of that cassette you recorded for me, of everlasting afternoons in your bedroom, of 'il paese dei balocchi'. don't let me down.

I've said goodnight
Try to sleep tight
Ah just dream of me
Go close your eyes
Cause I've closed mine
The sun will shine from time to time
Oh, when you dream of me, yeh

today

I would need a friend

what do you dislike?

You know when you have to undego stupid questions like "What do you dislike? What do you hate?". Most of the people I heard answer "hypocrisy". I also did sometimes, but I was never persuaded. Or sometimes I answered "indifference". But I think that today I found my answer.

I hate disappointment. When you expect something. When they promised you something that then you do not get. A gift maybe. A letter. So please, if you are not gonna keep that promise, just do not promise. I will love you the same, maybe more.

bERlin

Today I'm leaving.

You know those cities that you always heard of and you promised yourself that one day you would have gone there. I have lots of them. Many in Europe and a few around the world.

And today I'm going there. I've already been there, but for another reason. At that time that was not the reason of my trip. And I hope I'll be able to love the city independently of him.

It's a city. And I want to overlap my image of that city with new meanings. The first trip with this friend, just the two of us. What this city represented in the history of XX century. What this city represents to the Germans nowadays.

Let us stay friends...

Always in relationships there are (at least) two possible sides. The still loving one and the one who chose to end the relationship.

And almost always there it comes the one million dollar question.

I used to think that I would have stayed friend and in contact with all the people who crossed my life, especially my ex-significant others...

But maybe it is not possible. Maybe it is not necessary. Maybe this time you don't want to. 

summer days

Hard times flowing and my eyes couldn't see stars shining,
My heart couldn't feel the beauty of the rising sun,
And I'm lost like a bottle that floats in the sea for ever.
Will somebody pick up my hope?
Will somebody try?
Will I realize?

'cause it's broken, broken.
Something got broken, like stolen.
Stolen, like if it was stolen
And hurting, hurting
I have been hurting and now
Only time will tell,
Time will heal.

Just pieces of truth that I chose to keep and
No matter if now they are gone,
No matter if I am alone.
Still I can get back on my feet and walk on
As I know there was something to learn,
I know there will always be more worth moving on for.

...

I'd love to be one of those colorful early summer days
When everybody is happy that you came
Everybody smiles back at you as soon as your eyes cross their eyes
But something has to happen first
I know winter has to come before it blossoms

to you

Thanks for having shared this night with me.

It was tender, it was delightful, it was humorous as we can be. It was partially unexpected and partially desired. It was 'human contact' in the most naive of the meanings: two bodies looking for the warmth of the other's body. Just as usually we are two souls looking for the warmth of the other's soul. It was natural and cozy. It smelled of 'everyday'.

Thanks, my friend.

Disappointment

We shared so many moments, the best friend...

And then you get back just disillusion. Not being able to find a little time for me.
You are pure selfidsness, the centre of your universe. Your problems are the most urgent in the world.

I just asked for a couple of hours, having a pizza together, but...