just there

Und sie träumt von Chicago, von Chicago
Irgendwo wo sie keiner kennt
Und sie träumt von Chicago, von Chicago
Dort wo niemand, niemand ihren Namen nennt

Mit ihrem sonnigen Traum vor Augen
Läuft sie durch den Regen
Und jeden den sie auf der Straße trifft
Erzählt sie, sie wär da gewesen

run

light up light up
as if you have a choice

surrender

It's not meant to be a strife
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill
Oh I
It's not meant to be a strife
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill
Oh I

You're trying too hard
Surrender
Give yourself in
You're trying too hard
You're trying too hard, ah

It's not meant to be a strife
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill
Sweetly
It's not meant to be as dry
To enjoy
It's not meant to be a stuggle uphill
Oh I

It's warmer now
Lean into it
Unfold
Unfold in a generous way
Surrender

It's not meant to be as dry (surrender)
It's not meant (undo) to be a struggle uphill (undo)
It's not meant to be as dry
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill

I'm praying
To be
In a generous mode
The kindness kind
The kindness kind
To share
Me
To share me

It's not meant to be as dry
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill

It's not meant to be as dry
It's not meant to be a struggle uphill

Undo
Undo
If you're bleeding
Undo
And if you're sweating
Undo
If you're crying, darling
Undo

(never) again

those words, that sentence keep echoing in my mind. it sounds so definitive. where should I find the strength to fight this time? I hardly believe that your feelings can grow. I believed in that once. And it didn't happen. And now I believed it could have happened with you. But it's already the second time that I crash against reality.

And if I should focus on me? If this time it doesn't matter and I should just give up? Now.

You are just scared to be alone. To lose your source of good mood. This is what I think.

Maybe you will surprise me. May. Be.

sleeping

who knows if you are sleeping,
what are you thinking...

snow

this morning I left my apartment and I started my adventure in the snow, 30 to 50 centimetres of snow. Till my knees (I'm not very tall!). But the sun is shining, though one can hardly feel the warmth. It's -23°C. I probably was never in suc ha cold place. Apart from the frozen stuff department in Italian supermarkets.

When I breathe I produce some warmth in my scarf and then it freezes!

When I finally got to the offce...my adapter for laptop was not working anymore! Damn! But a good excuse to leave work and go to the bookstore at the Union. Where a blue-eyed guy sent me an amazing adapter..

And of course also today I saw a guy in shorts....

please

and I live on
this feeling
the greatest of all feelings
tellin' me not to grow cold

please help me get through
and let me in you

the gun

Doch gerade in letzter Zeit merke ich immer wieder, dass ich nicht in der Lage bin deine Gefühle zu erwidern. Ich komme mir oft sehr kalt dir gegenüber vor.

padremadre

Father, yellow and tired eyes,
in his eyebrows his pain to tell to me...
Mother, long skirt to her hips,
on his cheeks the years and the dinners with relatives ...
Can't you hear me? Or you do not listen to me,
while I cry with closed eyes under the bed.
Father, and if I miss you
it is because I gave more importance to my complaints ...
Mother, why are you crying?
But didn't you tell me that each tear is a secret?
And I believe it, but I don't see you
while I shout and sing my first notes!

But if there isn't a song that can take my place,
here it is, it is as if you were with me!

Father, a thousand years,
and how many bombs have exploded in your memory!
Mother, among your jewelry
am I still the most precious diamond?
But you do not listen to me, you do not hear me,
while I depart on the ship of the powerful ones!

...

Father, yellow and tired eyes,
try still to enlighten me with your sayings ...
Mother, throw the clothes,
and try again, if you want, to cuddle me,
because I miss you,
and if I am been so far it was just to save me!
So far it was only to save me!
So far it was only to save me!

distance

And in the day, everything's complex,
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.

But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby!
And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. Hey, baby...

beat

today I danced in my apartment. I missed dancing.
I started with an unusual song for me and continued with my "u gotta move" favorites!

up-date

soooooooo... also here in the American mid-west I already found a couple of nice people. Some Italians, some international, no American. Here the weather is freezing, always below zero, and since yesterday it's snowing a little. At the weekend I'll hopefully go and watch an ice hockey game. I wanted to watch baseball or football, but they're not playing in this season. And I finally found the bug in my program....at least one bug :) and I'm falling...

today

I would need a friend

good morning!

Guten Morgen, guten Morgen,
guten Morgen, Sonnenschein!

lost

Solo voy con mi pena
Sola va mi condena
Correr es mi destino
Para burlar la ley
Perdido en el corazón
De la grande Babylon
Me dicen el clandestino
Por no llevar papel

dreaming of 80's

Dreams are my reality the only kind of real fantasy
illusions are a common thing
I try to live in dreams it seems as if it's meant to be.
Dreams are my reality a different kind of reality
I dream of loving in the night and loving seems all right
althought it's only fantasy.

...it may snow :)

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we've no place to go,
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It doesn't show signs of Pauseping,
And I've bought some corn for popping,
The lights are turned way down low,
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

When we finally kiss goodnight,
How I'll hate going out in the storm!
But if you'll really hold me tight,
All the way home I'll be warm.

The fire is slowly dying,
And, my dear, we're still good-bying,
But as long as you love me so,
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

what do you dislike?

You know when you have to undego stupid questions like "What do you dislike? What do you hate?". Most of the people I heard answer "hypocrisy". I also did sometimes, but I was never persuaded. Or sometimes I answered "indifference". But I think that today I found my answer.

I hate disappointment. When you expect something. When they promised you something that then you do not get. A gift maybe. A letter. So please, if you are not gonna keep that promise, just do not promise. I will love you the same, maybe more.

in my head

Na na na na na na na

Ciao Giu, Che fai...
Ci Ripensi un po' a noi
Non ci avrei scommesso mai..
scriverti cosi...io morirei..
Quanto tempo... Quanti ricordi..
Chiudo gli occhi e mi sembra di stringerti le mani..
parlo di te... da sola..
sogno di te.. nel buio
ma sogno non è,, mi manchi!
AMICA DEL CUORE!
Na na na na na na...

Sai Giu vorrei..
sapere cosa sei per lui..
ne parlavamo spesso noi
di quanto gli piacevo anch'io...
Le stagioni..sono passate..
Lontananze prima fredde poi bruciate...
come vorrei..stasera..
anima mia..sincera...
stare con te... DAVVERO!

AMICA MIA CAPISCO CHE VORREI...
AVERTI COME SEI..
QUANTA VERITà PUOI DIRE IN UNA LETTERA
SARà PERCHè NON SEI QUI CON ME!

Na na na na na na na na

Ciao Giulia Succeda quello che vuoi tu
IL MONDO TI SORRIDERA' ED IO SORRIDERO' CON TE!

stars

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do

what's wrong with these people???

flip-flops, shorts, T-shirt and a cap...
...California in July?!? No, Iowa in November. 4 °C...

or maybe I should ask myself what's wrong with me!!!!!

did I choose the wrong continent?

tomorrow I'll give a talk in the department where I am a gust. Invited people:
- 6 Chinese
- 1 Indian
- 1 Japanese

...????

where am I?

Another continent, another lonely office without windows (stupid architects putting the windows in the corridor!!!!!), very chilly air, sun shining, a campus, another language. Coming here I really realized what a mess my mind is. I switch among the 3 languages continuously!!!

I miss him, but I'm hopeful that we both will be patient.

Tomorrow a presentation...scary! I'm afraid always to know less than the others, to be less efficient, slower... but this trip will also help me to partially win these fears.

Back to the presentation!

Walking by yourself in the cold, cold winter
Wrapped up in your coat like
It’s a magic blanket
You say: "No matter where I go
They all look like strangers"
You see, the world only seems
The fairytale that it isn’t

Dream on, dream on
There’s nothing wrong
If you dream on, dream on
Of being a swan

Crocchette di melanzane

Taglia a pezzetti le melanzane e falle bollire in poca acqua per circa 10 minuti dopo il bollore,
poi le passi al passaverdura o le frulli un po grossolanamente e le lasci un po nello scolapasta così va via tutta l'acqua
poi le metti in una ciotola e aggiungi uova, formaggio grattugiato, pane grattugiato, menta, un po' di pepe e un po' di sale,
amalgami il tutto bene che l'impasto non sia troppo molle e con il cucchiaio prendi e friggi nell'olio bollente oppure
le metti sulla carta forno in una teglia nel forno.
Con la quantità io ho sempre fatto ad occhio però calcola 1 kg di  melanzane, 4 uova, 100 gr. di formaggio, 150 gr.
di pane e via. buon appetito.

frank (sinatra)

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you



L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game

for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you

everything new

Ich verbrenn mein Studio, schnupfe die Asche wie Koks.
Ich erschlag meinen Goldfisch, vergrab ihn im Hof.
Ich jag meine Bude hoch, alles was ich hab lass ich los.
Mein altes Leben, schmeckt wie ‘n labriger Toast.
Brat mir ein Pracht-Steak, Peter kocht jetzt feinstes Fleisch.
Ich bin das Update, Peter Fox 1.1.

Ich will abshaken, feiern, doch mein Teich ist zu klein.
Mir wächst neue reihe Besser wie bei dem weissen Hai.
Gewachst , gedopet , poliert, Nagelneue Zähne.
Ich bin euphorisiert, und habe teure Pläne.
Ich kaufe mir Baumaschinen, Bagger und Walzen und Kräne.
Stürze mich auf Berlin, drück auf die Sirene.
Ich baue schöne Boxentürme, Bässe massieren eure Seele.
Ich bin die Abrissbirne für die d-d-d-deutsche Szene.

Hey, alles glänzt, so schön neu.
Hey, wenns dir nicht gefällt, mach neu.
Die Welt mit Staub bedeckt, doch ich will sehn wo’s hingeht.
Steig auf den Berg aus Dreck, weil oben frischer Wind weht.
Hey, alles glänzt, so schön neu.

Ich hab meine alten Sachen satt, und lass sie in ‘nem Sack verroten.
Motte die Klamotten ein, und dann geh ich nackt shoppen.
Ich bin komplett renoviert, Bräute haben was zu glotzen.
Kerngesund, durchtrainiert, Weltmeister im Schach und Boxen.
Nur noch konkret reden, gib mir ein ja oder nein.
Schluss mit Larifari, ich lass all die alten Faxen sein.

Sollt ich je wieder kiffen, hau ich mir ‘ne Axt ins Bein.
Ich will nie mehr Lügen, ich will jeden Satz auch so meinen.
Mir platzt der Kopf, alles muss ich verändern.
Ich such den Knopf, treffe die mächtigen Männer.
Zwing das Land zum Glück, kaufe Banken und Sender.
Alles spielt verrückt, zitternde Schafe und Lämmer.
Ich seh besser aus als Bono, und bin’ n Mann des Volkes.
Bereit die Welt zu retten, auch wenn das vielleicht zu viel gewollt ist.

Hey, alles glänzt, so schön neu.
Hey, wenns dir nicht gefällt, mach neu.
Hier ist die Luft verbraucht, das Atmen fällt mir schwer.
Bye Bye ich muss hier raus, die Wände kommen näher.
Die Welt mit Staub bedeckt, doch ich will sehn wo’s hingeht.
Steig auf den Berg aus Dreck, weil oben frischer Wind weht.
Hey, alles glänzt, so schön neu.

just for u

Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone who cares
Your own personal jesus
Someone to hear your prayers
Someone whos there

Feeling unknown
And youre all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
Ill make you a believer

Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
You need to confess
I will deliver
You know Im a forgiver

what's the good...

...of having naturally curly hair if nobody's jealous?!

glory?

This is a song I've been singing for a long time. it's like an old friend. but, you know, I think it, it's only recently that I discovered what it's really about.

You've got to give a little, take a little,
And let your poor heart break a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

You've got to laugh a little, cry a little,
Until the clouds roll by a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

As long as there's the two of us,
We've got the world and all its charms.
And when the world is through with us,
We've got each others arms.

You've got to win a little, lose a little,
Yes, and always have the blues a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.

big discoveries!

How's God? She's black!

a story

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be."

I walked alone for hours upon hours
In a field of foreign flowers 
Then to my surprise
My emotions began to sensationalize
Before my very own eye
Was the most beautiful butterfly
Full of colors I had never seen
A simple nature that cut my heart keen
His wings so innocent but grand
If he only new what I had planned
So, I made my move to make him mine
Him and I, we would combine
I held him in my hands so tight
Part of me knew it was not right
I watched him scared as can be
Flickering his wings trying to be free
I wanted so bad to make him mine
That I over looked the obvious sign
He was meant to be free
And, our love came with no guarantee
So, I opened my hands and let him go 
And watched as another gardener he bestow
That Gardener, she took from me what was never mine
A relationship that we had yet to define
My heart did hurt and yes it bled
For my beautiful butterfly lay in another flower bed
I will never understand why he choose to be free
When it was so clear it was with me he should be
Then to my surprise on one August gloomy day
Upon my flower my beautiful butterfly lay
He looked at me with sincere eyes
And told me that his choice was unwise
I told him that I loved him true 
And, that he stained my heart dark blue
If you love a butterfly you let him go
Watch his wild oats be sow
If to you he return
For your heart he will yearn
Come back to you- he's yours forever
With true love that he endeavor

proud of carrying his name

Most high, all powerfull, all good Lord 
All praise is yours, all glory, all honour 
and all blessing. 
To you alone, Most High, do they belong and no human being is worthy to pronounce your name. 
Praised be You, my Lord,through all that you have made, 
and first my lord brother Sun, 
who brings the day and light you give us through him; 
How beautiful is he, how radiant in all his splendour: 
of you, Most High, he bears the likeness. 
Praised be You, my Lord,through sister Moon and Stars;in the heaven you have made them, bright, and precious and fair. 
Praised be You, my Lord,through brother Wind, 
and air and stormy and fair in all weather moods, 
by which You cherish all that you have made. 
Praised be You, my Lord,through sister Water, 
so useful, humble, precious 
and pure. 
Praised be You, my Lord, through brother Fire, 
through whom You light the night; 
and he is beautiful and playful and robust and strong. 
Praised be You, my Lord,through our sister mother Earth, 
who sustains and governs us, 
producing varied fruits with coloured flowers and herbs. 
Praised be You, my Lord,through those who grant pardon 
for love of You, 
and bear sickness and trial; 
blessed are those who endure in peace, 
by You, most High, they will be crowned. 
Praised be You, ...

BED statistics

from http://eatingdisorders.about.com/od/bingeeatingdisorder/a/bedstatistics.htm

Binge-eating disorder statistics are becoming better understood as more research creates consensus within the eating disorder research community. Here are some of the major statistics for binge-eating disorder.

Prevalence of Binge-Eating Disorder

Binge-eating disorder is the most common pattern of disordered eating. Lifetime prevalence rate estimates of binge-eating disorder (BED) range from 1 to 5% of the general population. One source suggests that 3% of the overall population currently has BED. In Australia, the estimate is 4%.

A large-scale national survey in 2007 found that 3.5% of women and 2% of men reported histories of binge-eating disorder.

Gender Difference in Binge-Eating Disorder

Based on the above prevalence data, about 65% of those with BED are women; 35% are men. Also, a June 2008 study reports that 3% of adolescent boysbinge or purge at least once per week, compared to 10% of adolescent girls.

Increased Risk of Binge Eating from Dieting

Dieting raises the likelihood of binging: Among girls,frequent dieters are 12 times more likely to binge eat than those who don't diet. Also, it's estimated that 30% of those who pursue weight loss treatment have BED.

Cultural Influence

While white women and black women are equally likely to have binged in the last three months, more black women report multiple episodes of binge eating per week.

first time

do you remember?  I like to think that this was playing

take a monday evening

mild weather, the city centre of a picturesque little city as background, three entertaining musicians, a good little friend and some good songs from the last 50 years. unique!

Tinker Bell

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yn2nc-x1rZs

Martha

Operator, number, please: it's been so many years
Will she remember my old voice while I fight the tears?
Hello, hello there, is this Martha? this is old Tom Frost,
And I am calling long distance, don't worry 'bout the cost.
'Cause it's been forty years or more, now Martha please recall,
Meet me out for coffee, where we'll talk about it all.

And those were the days of roses, poetry and prose
And Martha all I had was you and all you had was me.
There was no tomorrows, we'd packed away our sorrows
And we saved them for a rainy day.

And I feel so much older now, and you're much older too,
How's your husband? and how's the kids? you know that I got married too?
Luck that you found someone to make you feel secure,
'Cause we were all so young and foolish, now we are mature.

And those were the days of roses, poetry and prose
And Martha all I had was you and all you had was me.
There was no tomorrows, we'd packed away our sorrows
And we saved them for a rainy day.

And I was always so impulsive, I guess that I still am,
And all that really mattered then was that I was a man.
I guess that our being together was never meant to be.
And Martha, Martha, I love you can't you see?

And those were the days of roses, poetry and prose
And Martha all I had was you and all you had was me.
There was no tomorrows, we'd packed away our sorrows
And we saved them for a rainy day.

And I remember quiet evenings trembling close to you...

Tom Waits

fight

Tyler Durden: Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club! Third rule of Fight Club: if someone yells "stop!", goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. Fourth rule: only two guys to a fight. Fifth rule: one fight at a time, fellas. Sixth rule: the fights are bare knuckle. No shirt, no shoes, no weapons. Seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight.

space? time?

Beyond space and time: Fractals, hyperspace and more

koenigliche Ballerina Prinzessin

"I am looking for friends. What does that mean---tame?"  "It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."  "To establish ties?"  "Just that," said the fox. "to me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world. . ."

whenever it rains

Whenever it rains, I have to think of you. 
How we met, I can not stop thinking about that. 
Soaked to the skin, so there she stood. 
For us it was too loud, and we came close. 
Whenever it rains, I have to think of you. 
How we met and I can not stop thinking about that. 
Soaked to the skin, so there she stood. 
Anna 

Pitsch-patsch wet, I flied under the canopy of the specialty store
From the sky poured a stream. I think, it was half past seven.
But I was wide awake when Anna looked at me, she smiled. 
I thought: "Talk to her", she spoke to me. 
The soaked clothes clung to her. 
The bag in her hand, she stood near the wall. 
The dark eyes sparkled as a night in Asia. 
Strands on the face prevented her from seeing. 
My heart is pounding, the nose is dripping. 
I am ashamed, I behave as a stupid. 
I'm rather shy. 
"My name is Anna," she said very soberly. 
I began to whisper: "I'm Max from the womb of the Kolkhoz." 
Such a disaster, a complete flop, I behaved 
ridiculously. 
But she smiled. 
Incredibly true, man! 
See there, Anna was an Hip Hop - Fan 

[...]

Splish, splash, the rain fell as a flood. 
The canopy, the island. 
We were as flotsam. I found courage. 
I'm surprised myself about the honesty of my confession. 
"Anna, I think it would be nice going out with you." 
"I could get used to see you more often." 
Anna drew me to her. 
I did not do anything. 
I feel her sweet kisses as they caress my face. 
What just happened? Don't let me go, Anna. 
I still love you purely, the others are loveless. 
You're like the vinyl to my DJ, like the dialectic to Hegel. 
like paint-brushes to Picasso, like the drum mallet to Philip. 
Anna, how was there with Dada? 
You are from the back, as from the front ANNA. 
You are from the back, as from the front ANNA. 
You are from the back, as from the front ANNA. 

[...]

She gave me a goodbye-kiss, because then the bus came. 
She said: "Max, I must go," the door closed. 
Is it now the end? 
It poured. 
I went on foot. 
I'm confused, almost running. 
Anna took my mind. 
I found everything in Anna. 
Sometimes I laugh about it, but then I remember again, like if it were true. 
Comedy is tragedy in mirror writing: ANNA 
From the rear, as from the front. 
Your name be blessed. 
I think of you, whenever it rains. 

[...]

romance

love is in the air.

and it's pooping on my head.

what if?

An aspect of eating disorder recovery involves giving respect to the body itself and learning not only its language but also how to heed what the body says.

       What if the anorexic woman listened to her endocrine system that cried out for nourishment as hormonal function shut down?

       What if the bulimic woman listened to her esophagus plead for a rest from the continuous flow of digestive acids?

       What if the compulsive eater or binge eater listened to a stomach that cried out for mercy and relief from the continuous need to stretch to the point of pain?

       What if, instead of war, we learned to make peace with our bodies?

Chicago

She is always there where things happen 
Always in the middle of the city 
There where the small world is very large 
She sees enough of the lights 

She trembled, and when from this and that 
And she has already had anything 
Even though she does not take so much care of herself 
At least she keeps in touch 

And she dreams of Chicago, Chicago 
Somewhere where nobody knows her
And she dreams of Chicago, Chicago 
There, where nobody, nobody calls her name 

With her sunny dream in mind 
She walks through the rain,
And to everyone that meets her on the street 
She tells, she has been there 

Describes in which part of the city she already was 
Because, after all, she knows this and that 
And if you have a little bit with you 
She takes you with for a night 

She takes you to Chicago, to Chicago 
Someplace where nobody knows you 
She takes you to Chicago, to Chicago 
Where no one calls, no one your name 

But when you tell her 
Which dream she lives 
Then she just goes crazy 

Even if she has just been sleeping for a short time 
Once the light goes on
Then she must go back quickly 

Sometimes she will meet with a few people 
At some unspecified place 
And when there fresh stuff flows through the veins 
one passes the spoon to the others 

And this time she did not come 
Maybe she has not packed 
Only a small message is all she has left 

I'll never come back
I'm in Chicago, Chicago 
Somewhere where nobody knows me oh-oh 
I never come back I'm in Chicago, Chicago 
There, where nobody, nobody calls my name, oh-oh 

Chicago 
Where nobody knows me 
I'll never come back 
Chicago 
I'll never come back

Schemtterlinge im Bauch

from http://www.herzsache.de/liebe/gefuehle/schmetterlinge-im-bauch.php

Having butterflies in one's stomach is a wonderful feeling that all those that once were truly in love know. The butterflies in one's stomach start to flutter even when one sees a person, that one finds wonderful and one wants to win for him/herself. If flirting ends up with getting to know each other, the flutter will happen even more, since one knows that there is interest also on the other side. Before each meeting, the butterflies are fluttering in the stomach because of joy. 

Having butterflies in the stomach means to be excited, and most people are excited when they are newly in love. Unfortunately, in someone's stomach butterflies do not flutter long, because when one realizes that the partner is not the right one, feelings are no longer present and the butterflies in the stomach are gone. There are relationships in which butterflies flutter for a long time in the stomach. It all depends on how the partners treat one another. 

For most people with time butterflies fall asleep in the stomach, the relationship becomes routine and there's nothing more exciting, that could make one have butterflies in his/her stomach. Such relations should be brought to life again. If both partners take the initiative and break away from the sofa, swing comes back into the relationship and butterflies flutter again.

La france en Italie

deja vu

abat-jour

buffè (buffet)
sofà
parquet

moquette

bidet

baguette 
omelette

ragu' (ragout)

pure'

champagne

dessert

pate'

vin brulè

crepe
brioche

chantilly
bignè

creme caramel

creme brulee

champignon

pois

chef

griffe

roulette 

soubrette
manicure
mignon

carillon
cabaret
stage
reportage
pedicure
menù

garage

toilette

sabò (sabot)
culotte
bijoux
collant

pochette

papillon

foulard

no one to blame

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

new version of you

dear ...

to write or not to write? what to write? who is the person I'm writing to? it looks to me like I don't know you anymore. I don't know exactly why this complete silence, I can imagine, but not really understand.

So I write. Maybe. One year has past. I've cried, tried to get angry with you, undestood, closed that chapter and then opened it again a thousand times. I've looked into other eyes, opened my hearth to someone else and then again closed it. It sounds horrible to me, but I've probably learnt to use people for what I need in that moment. To be selfish. This is the bad heritage I have from our story. Together with the hope that one day I will feel that kind of feelings again. Because I had never been so high before. And till now I didn't manage it again.

I know that I would make it easier if I wouldn't talk about my inner life and just talk of what I do and happens, but that wouldn't be me. And "I hope you had the time of your life." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClhNPb3mmpI

Not much more to say, I think.
Good night,

magnolia

movies

I have a friend. he is very shy, especially at the beginning. but the more you talk to him the more you discover he has thousands of passions. he often likes to be alone. he goes biking. he listens to classical music. he gets lost into maths. and he watches movie.

we discovered that we have similar taste for movies. and today I was thinking that life is not a movie. and it is very easy to get confused about this concept.

he won't be in front of the door waiting for me with flowers. we won't fall in love with the man who loves us. and happy ending is not guaranteed. luckily.

tears

Have you had a good cry lately?

A "good" cry--the kind that can make you feel better--as opposed to the kind you have when peeling onions--is one of your body's most important defense mechanism, it seems.

That's because tears shed due to emotional upset or stress contain chemicals that your body builds up during nervous tension. According to Dr. William H. Frey II, a researcher at the St. Paul-Ramsey Medical Center in Minnesota, emotionally-induced tears contain protein-based hormones as well as leucine enkephalin, a natural painkiller.

Frey and his team concluded that when a person is under stress, his or her body needs to get rid of those chemicals through crying. In most cultures, women are readily forgiven for crying, but men are often expected be stoic and bottle up emotional outbursts. Some scientists think men have more stress-related illness because they resist crying.

Psychologists have long said that crying is a natural part of the grief process and can speed up a person's recovery. Whether the cause of the upset is the death of a loved one, the breakup of a relationship, the loss of a job or some other traumatic event, a person often feels better after they cry and is more prone to move on with their life. In one of the most poignant scenes in the Bible, we're told that even Jesus wept over the death of his friend Lazarus, whom he raised from the dead a few minutes later.

Except at funerals and in hospitals, crying often produces an awkward reaction in the other people present. Maybe if they knew the person crying is just getting rid of some harmful chemicals, they'd be more sympathetic.

(source http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-A-Good-Cry-May-Be-Good-For-You&id=147406)

bugs

ever have the feeling that a song penetrated your mind and is now playing uninterrupted in your mind?

and if that is a message from someone who wanted us to think of that song?

swallows

Ti vorrei,ti vorrei 
come sempre ti vorrei 
notte farà,mi penserai 
ma tu che ne sai dei sogni 
quelli son miei, non li vendo 
Che ne sai,che ne sai 
chissà che mi scriverai 
forse un addio,o forse no 
ma tu che ne sai dei sogni... 
Nonostante tu sia la mia rondine 
andata via,sei il mio volo a metà 
sei il mio passo nel vuoto 
Dove sei,dove sei 
Dove sei,dove sei dove sei 
Unico amore che...rivivrei 
sai di vento del Nord 
sai di buono ma non di noi 
stessa luna a metà 
sei nel cielo sbagliato... 
Non lo so,non lo so 
quanto tempo ammazzerò 
mio libro mio,non ti leggerò 
baciandoti sulla bocca... 
lo scriverò un altra volta... 

I want you,  I want you, 
As always I want you. 
The night will come, you will think of me. 
But what do you know about dreams: 
those are mine, I do not sell them. 
What do you know, what do you know? 
Who knows what you'll write me: 
perhaps a farewell, or maybe not. 
But what do you know about dreams... 
Although you are my swallow 
gone away, you are my half flight, 
you are my step into emptiness. 
Where are you, where are you? 
Where are you, where are you, where are you?
Unique love which I'd live again 
You taste like the North wind, 
you taste good, but not of us. 
Same half-moon, 
you're in the wrong sky. 
I do not know, I do not know 
how much time I will spend,

my book, I won't read you, 
by kissing your mouth ... 
I'll write it again ... 

mamma

did u ever have the sensation that your is the best mum in the world? and that your family is the greatest luck of your life?

I do!

Mamma, son tanto felice
perché ritorno da te.
La mia canzone ti dice
ch'è il più bel sogno per me!
Mamma son tanto felice...
Viver lontano perché?

Mamma, solo per te la mia canzone vola,
mamma, sarai con me, tu non sarai più sola!
Quanto ti voglio bene!
Queste parole d'amore che ti sospira il mio cuore
forse non s'usano più,
mamma!,
ma la canzone mia più bella sei tu!
Sei tu la vita
e per la vita non ti lascio mai più!

Sento la mano tua stanca:
cerca i miei riccioli d'or.
Sento, e la voce ti manca,
la ninna nanna d'allor.
Oggi la testa tua bianca
io voglio stringere al cuor.

Mamma, solo per te la mia canzone vola,
mamma, sarai con me, tu non sarai più sola!
Quanto ti voglio bene!
Queste parole d'amore che ti sospira il mio cuore
forse non s'usano più,
mamma!,
ma la canzone mia più bella sei tu!
Sei tu la vita
e per la vita non ti lascio mai più!
Mamma... mai più!

Mom, I'm so happy 
because I come back to you. 
My song tells you 
which it is the most beautiful dream for me! 
Mom, I'm so happy ... 
Living far away, why? 

Mom, only for you my song is flying, 
Mom, you will be with me, you will no longer be alone! 
How much I love you! 
These words of love which my heart whispers to you
perhaps are out of fashion... 
Mom!
but my best song is you! 
You're the life 
and all life long I will not leave you again! 

I feel your tired hand 
searching for my golden curls. 
I hear, and your voice is fading away, 
the lullaby you used to sing me. 
Today your white head 
I want to hug near my heart. 

L'abitudine

Talvolta mi chiedo come mai il mio paese "stagna". Come mai abbiamo una politica malata.

le ragioni sono ovviamente tante. ma credo che uno dei fattori e' che siamo diventati tutti un po' passivi. Le notizie dei nostri giornali sono sempre simili da 15 anni. cio' che fa il cavaliere non ci stupisce piu'. Chi lo ha sempre votato continua a sostenerlo per partito preso e vice versa si comporta chi non lo vorrebbe al potere.

C'e' da sperare che un giorno cambino gli attori della nostra politica e le idee. Come e quando non so. ma lo spero. 

will I be good?

that I would be good even if I did nothing
that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that I would be grand if I was not all knowing

that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy

that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you

anniversaries 2

I didn't hear you leave 
I wonder how am I still here 
And I don't want to move a thing 
It might change my memory 


Oh I am what I am 
I do what I want 
But I can't hide 


And I won't go 
I won't sleep 
I can't breathe 
Until you're resting here with me 


And I won't leave 
I can't hide 
I cannot be 
Until you're resting here with me 


I don't want to call my friends 
For they might wake me from this dream 
And I can't leave this bed 
Risk forgetting all that's been 

anniversaries

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

dada-umpa

The 1st DADA Manifesto: 
By Monsieur Antipyrine.

DADA is our intensity: it erects inconsequential bayonets and the Sumatral head of German babies; Dada is life with neither bedroom slippers nor parallels; it is against and for unity and definately against the future; we are wise enough to know that our brains are going to become flabby cushions, that our anti-dogmatism is as exclusive as a civil servant, and that we cry liberty but are not free; a severe necessity with entire discipline nor morals and that we spit on humanity.

DADA remains within the framework of European weaknesses, it's still shit, but from now on we want to shit in different colours so as to adorn the zoo of art with all the flags of all the consulates.

We are circus ringmasters and we can be found whistling amongst the winds of fairgrounds, in convents, prostitutions, theatres, realities, feelings, restaurants, ohoho, bang bang.

We declare that the motor car is a feeling that has cosseted us quite enough in the dilatoriness of its abstractions, as have transatlantic liners, noises and ideas. And while we put on a show of being facile, we are actually searching for the central essence of things, and are pleased if we can hide it; we have no wish to count the windows of the marvellous elite, for DADA doesn't exist for anyone, and we want everyone to understand this. This is Dada's balcony, I assure you. From there you can hear all the military marches, and come down cleaving the air like a seraph landing in a public baths to piss and understand the parable.

DADA is neither madness, nor wisdom, nor irony, look at me, dear bourgeois.

Art used to be a game of nuts in May, children would go gathering words that had a final ring, then they would exude, shout out the verse, and dress it up in dolls' bootees, and the verse became a queen in order to die a little, and the queen became a sardine, and the children ran hither and yon, unseen... Then came the great ambassadors of feeling, who yelled historically in chorus:

Psychology Psychology hee hee

Science Science Science

Long live France

We are not naive

We are successive

We are exclusive

We are not simpletons

and we are perfectly capable of an intelligent discussion.

Be we, DADA, don't agree with them, for art isn't serious, I assure you, and if we reveal the crime so as to show that we are learned denunciators, it's to please you, dear audience, I assure you, and I adore you.

how to show friendship

Andò in cucina, pensando alle buone maniere, all'amicizia e al modo in cui le lettere, e i regali, erano le uniche tracce rimaste di ritualità nei rapporti con gli amici. Altre culture avevano forme molto più elaborate per onorare e coltivare le amicizie. In Sudamerica, aveva letto, due uomini che diventavano amici potevano essere sottoposti a una sorta di cerimonia battesimale davanti a un tronco d'albero, diventando entrambi simbolicamente figliocci dell'albero, e perciò fratelli l'uno per l'altro. Era un'usanza strana, e noi eravamo semplicmeente troppo occupati per organizzare cerimonie del genere: era più facile incontrarsi per un caffè.

Alexander McCall Smith, Amici, amanti, cioccolato

death

Dalla foschia dei primi anni di vita riusciva ancora a evocare il ricordo: stava seduta in una grande vasca bianca, con un bambino all'altro capo che le spruzzava l'acqua in faccia, ridendo. E poi sua madre in piedi accanto a lei, che la prendeva in braccio. Sua madre. Ne vedeva ancora il viso a volte, la notte, nei suoi sogni, come se non se ne fosse mai andata. Sua madre che era ancora li', in disparte. Specco e' cosi' che immaginiamo i morti: una nuvola d'amore che fa da sfondo alla nostra vita.

Alexander McCall Smith, Amici, amanti, cioccolato

there is no right, there is no left

what is right, what is wrong?

how can you establish what is right when feelings are involved?

betraying friendships and lovers?

where does my freedom end? what is your due to respect the others? what is my right to freedom and selfishness?

a promise

I promise to myself.. I have to go there again. When it will be ready. And live the incredible mixture of music, architecture and water.

home sweet home

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

be happy

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

try

Games, changes and fears 
When will they go from here 
When will they stop 
I believe that fate has brought us here 
And we should be together 
But we're not 
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you 
I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin. 
I try to say goodbye and I choke 
I try to walk away and I stumble 
Though I try to hide it it's clear 
My world crumbles when you are not near 
Goodbye and I choke 
I try to walk away and I stumble 
Though I try to hide it, it's clear 
My world crumbles when you are not near 

arrivederci

Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no

You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
Pain is a warning that something's wrong
I pray to God that it won't be long
Do ya wanna go higher? 

There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye

Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress

There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye

Learn to say good-bye
I yearn to say good-bye

I've never been

I've never been to the USA
I am a slave for the minimal wage
De Troit, New York and L.A
but i'm stuck in the U.K

Who Said
Who Said
Who Said
Who Said

I must not give in
I must not give in

can you stop dancing?

around...

...the world!

Fall-in' Iowa

yes yes yeeeeeeeeeeees!!!!!!!!!!

Quercodi'

Is there some task you hate?

Yesterday I decided with a friend that our week won't consist anymore of just seven days. 'Quercodi'' (Quarkday in English and Quarktag in German) is the new day. 

Promise your boss that you will handle that task on Quercodi'. 

Ever had that feeling that today it is not the day that the calendar says? Yeah, that's because today it's Quercodi'.

What a great invention...Quercodi' :)

questions

where are the ashes of that passion? where is my promised birthday gift? what wasn't I able to give? what did I do wrong?

whatever the answer, that's wrong.

because the only meaningful questions relate to me. magnolia.

and 7 kilos more make me less beautiful just to my eyes, or better to my mind.

the rain is falling down

The rain is falling down and it washes everything away, 
it cancels my own bones. 
The rain is falling down and everything falls down 
and I slip on dirty water. 
Yes, but what do you care, 
refresh yourself if you want 
my own dirty rain. 
Tell me what is good for 

standing far away in silence and look at 
our passion that dies in a corner and 
does not know about us, 
does not know about us, 
does not know about us.

 
The rain is falling down and everything is quiet:
you see, I feel the peace too. 
The rain is falling down, and this peace 
is just dirty water and live coal.
There is cold air all around us, 
hug me if you want 
my own dirty rain. 
Tell me what is good for 

standing far away in silence and look at 
our passion that dies in a corner.
And tell me what is good for 

hoping if it rains and one does not feel pain 
as my skin which is dying, 
that changes color, 
that changes its smell.

 
Tell me what is the meaning of

crying now,
crying against me, 
who I'm not able to defend my ugly skin 
so dirty, 
very dirty, 
how dirty is 
this dirty dirty rain.

 
Yes, but do not defend me now,
do not defend me now,
do not defend me, 
rather come back as mud, yes, but come back. 
Tell me what is good for 

standing far away in silence and look at 
our passion that does not die, 
but changes color. 
Let me hope 
that it rains and you feel as well the smell 
of this my skin, that is white 
and does not want the color, 
does not want the color, 
no... 
no... 

My skin is white paper for your story: 
write the end, 
I am ready. 
I do not want to stand on the door of our lives, 
see that it is over. 
Clouds which pass by and dump rain as stones 
and at each step we forget our steps, 
the way along which we walked together 
throwing our seed on stone. 

Warm drops of rain on the sand
killing us every night after the anger. 
Love, my love, 
this passion over as the hunger of a lion 
after it has devoured its prey and has left the bones to the vultures, 
you do not remember us, but we were the ones
embracing each other still in the rain 
while all the others ran away looking for shelter.
And our love is gunpowder, 
the thunder is only a heart beat 
and the light flashes without noise. 
And my skin is white paper for your story, 
but write the end: 
I am ready.

the scream

"I was out walking with two friends.

The sun began to set.

Suddenly the sky turned blood-red.

I paused, feeling exhausted, and leaned on a fence.

There was blood and tongues of fire above the blue-black fjord and the city.

My friends walked on, and there I still stood, trembling with fear.

And I sensed an endless scream passing through nature."

Edvard Munch

"And finally I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside, and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be, and could be, if there weren't any other people living in the world."

Anne Frank

"I don't believe that the big men, the politicians and the capitalists alone are guilty of the war. Oh, no, the little man is just as keen, otherwise the people of the world would have risen in revolt long ago! There is an urge and rage in people to destroy, to kill, to murder, and until all mankind, without exception, undergoes a great change, wars will be waged, everything that has been built up, cultivated and grown, will be destroyed and disfigured, after which mankind will have to begin all over again."

Anne Frank

the end of October

Wondering why it is so hard to get involved, to let you take my hands. Why do I have that awkward sensation. Why does he always come back to my mind, as vivid as if he actually would be here. It seems like I actually look for such situations. Do I? Is it that I don't want to bind me? Maybe I'm not ready? Maybe I just want to feel the centre of the attentions of everyone? 

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry 

You don't know how lovely you are. 

I had to find you, tell you I need you, 

Tell you I set you apart.  

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions, 

Oh lets go back to the start.

 Running in circles, 

Comin' in tails 

Heads on a science apart.  

Nobody said it was easy, 

It's such a shame for us to part. 

Nobody said it was easy, 

No one ever said it would be this hard. 

Oh take me back to the start.  

I was just guessin' at numbers and figures, 

Pulling the puzzles apart. 

Questions of science, science and progress 

Do not speak as loud as my heart.

new italians

Alone I go with my sorrow 
Alone goes my sentence 
To run is my destiny
To escape the law 
Lost in the heart of the great Babylon 
They call me 
clandestine 
For not having any papers

To a city of the north 
I went to work 
I left my life 
Between Ceuta and 
Gibraltar
I’m a line in the sea
A ghost in the city
My life is forbidden 
So says the authority 

the kid is not my son

She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene 
I said don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one 
Who will dance on the floor in the round 
She said I am the one, who will dance on the floor in the round 

She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene 
Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one 
Who will dance on the floor in the round 

People always told me be careful of what you do 
And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts 
And mother always told me be careful of who you love 
And be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth 

Billie Jean is not my lover 
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one 
But the kid is not my son 
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son 

For forty days and for forty nights 
The law was on her side 
But who can stand when she's in demand 
Her schemes and plans 
'Cause we danced on the floor in the round 
So take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice 
(Do think twice) 

She told my baby we'd danced till three, then she looked at me 
Then showed a photo my baby cried his eyes were like mine (oh, no!) 
'Cause we danced on the floor in the round, baby 

People always told me be careful of what you do 
And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts 
She came and stood right by me 
Then the smell of sweet perfume 
This happened much too soon 
She called me to her room 

Billie Jean is not my lover 
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one 
But the kid is not my son 

woman on the moon

If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon
If you believe there's nothing up my sleeve, then nothing is cool

Moses went walking with the staff of wood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Newton got beaned by the apple good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Egypt was troubled by the horrible asp. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Mister Charles Darwin had the gall to ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

frenetically moving

Dream an answer all day
Its gonna keep me from pain
Wild heat all around
I dont look the same

Beat on wood, fly,
Ride and dream again
An invitation for
I dont know the day

Feel the sun, that shine
So feel that sun liquefying
Hear your sough in time
So hear the sound that survives 

Dream an answer all day
Its gonna keep me from pain
Wild heat all around
I dont look the same

Beat on wood, fly,
Ride and dream again
An invitation for
I dont know the day

Feel the sound, that shine
So feel that sound liquefying
Hear your sough in time
So hear the sound that survives

dear love

Dear Love,

you, mystery hidden behind any gesture,

you, player,

you, cheater,

you, joker.

You, energy,

you, force,

you, passion,

you, patience.

You, hug,

you, bread,

you, bed linen,

you, morning sun.

You, meaning,

you, salt,

you, ocean,

you, blue.

Yours faithfully,

magnolia

salsa passion

a bailar

really?

He broke up with you and that's enough reason right there to hate him. He does not love you. Do you really want to be with someone who does not love you? Right now you are in pain but eventually even if you stayed with him in the future you guys would have some major problems and you would end up hating each other anyways. Most of the people in relationships do break up. Just realize it that he did not love you and that you have to be with someone who loves you and is willing to do anything for you. This guy left you so you did not lose anything. He does not think of you as a necessary part of his life so there is no point of making him part of your life. Forget that @#%$*.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4720598_forget-your-boyfriend.html

rainbows

Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?

bSIElin

Saturday in a very particular place

Sunday karaokeing in a flea market

and that cafè near the Oranienburger Strasse, and then in the underground the man singing "I'm just a gigolò"...

and remember