Shake

How do you stand this feeling of loneliness? It takes you, it stucks your throat, when you are lucky you are able to cry, otherwise you just stay there in this melancholic mood and stare at your life flowing. And actually you are surrounded from love and you know you should just look at the half of the glass that is full of tasteful red wine. But that lonely bed, falling asleep on your own night after night, doing the shopping just for yourself, building your routine just around yourself. Well, I did all of this already for a long time and I'm tired of that. I want to "shake because I love, because I care, 'cause I'm alive". I want to give my love to someone who wants it. I want a couple of eyes in which I can then mirror myself. I don't want to become a selfish person with its own routine who has not time anymore to feel. And I perfecly know that being in a couple does not necessarily mean happiness... But in this moment all I want to do is screaming. I will just drink a tea and read a magazine in the evening night.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZVlVgpghA4

I've been walking, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

Lately, I've been walking, walking in circles
Watching, waiting for something
Feel me, touch me, heal me
Come take me higher

Smiles, now!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6xVCTDwYEM

Living my time

and living it from inside

Living my time

is an inner equilibrium

drop by drop

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8yVGcL8lkU&feature=related

The light, that draws shadows, is magic,

the mind, from where curiosity for new underwater worlds comes, is magic.

And every instant the fantastic device, which drop by drop creates a sea inside me, comes to life again.

...

A more active choice

to look for joy

would help me to better focus

my energy.

Trembling souls

Every morning is different. Every wake up is different.

Some mornings life is easy. Some others it is hard. And this difference is not always strictly related to your life conditions. Maybe you have everything that matters in your life (health, family, friends, love, money, satisfying job) and still you aren't ok. Or vice versa. 

It happens to me. I feel restless, unable to relax, in constant activity or motion, without any chance of emotional rest. And in those days life is harder. I look for consolation, for peace. And sometimes I find it in the wrong way. magnolia says I should stop and think on those days. Think about what's happening around me. Try to understand what I'm feeling in that moment and what is the thing that could help me. There and in that right moment. 

Stay in the present. Learn to relax. To smile to life. To think that everything will be fine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cssbQoDoHr0

Tension strikes
Choking me
Worries grow

Why do I feel so numb
Is it something to do with where I come from
Should this be fight or flight
I don't know why I'm constantly so uptight

Bonn-Bonns

Some weeks ago I was in Bonn, the ex capital city of West Germany. There you can visit for free the House of history, telling the history of Germany after the Second World War. The most exciting part was about the fall of that wall.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmNR-AtnGQs&feature=related

All those people passing under the Brandenburger Tor, celebrating the re-union of the country. That came when nobody was expecting that to happen anymore.

...why did Germans stop celebrating?

the emotion of love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3r_H2r--mY

Our love grows so well,
I do not want to abandon
this shy shoot.
I do not want to wake you up, velvet skin,

because of the cold frost

you would think of a farewell.

I just go to collect my clothes
and to kill the past, now there is you.

Woman, my lover, woman poetry,
I warmed you, scared squirrel,
and the morning after you were a woman;
if I lost you I would go away defeated,
that would be too much and perhaps you are,
a woman a little longer, I shall return.
How difficult to explain
to a woman her role,
when you want to leave her,
she caresses my body and inside she dies,
how sad to make love if she is not with you.

Woman, my lover, woman of the farewell,
scared squirrel, what will you do
and who will notice that you are a woman;
I'll look for you, my sweet lover,
but I know you, you will answer no,
and here on your door I will die.
I'll look for you, my sweet lover,
but I know you, you will answer no,
and here on your door I will die.

DREAMERSing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDRxl-Pe_Bw&feature=related

...strange movie... entangling feelings, when what one feels goes beyond definitions, and the role of conventions appears strong and determines one's behavior. When history happens in one place and in that particular time and it will never be the same again... when you watch and you think "I wanted to be there"...


I'm gonna leave any minute
See the skyline disappear
Head out of the city
Burn my clothes bury my fears

Oh you will never know I was here

Tell me now is there difference
Between a shark and the ghost of a shark
'Cause all I have are secrets and memories of the dark
Oh rip away the skin burn my heart

I'm gonna leave any minute
Another skyline disappears
Sunlight in the mirror
Blinding me all these years
Oh am I coming back
I'll never leave
Oh am I coming back
I'll never leave

The monster

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=374969729

I f***ing suffer from manias of persecution,
when I go around the street I'm ready to the execution,
when I'm smiling it's because I'm pretending to be an actor,
when I'm rolling a joint I dream of being elsewhere,
and I feel my heavy head thinking,
and I feel me myself more and more distant unravelling,
and I feel protected in my armor,
but from here I do not perceive anymore the smell of the sea,
and it is not normal, I lay in the background,
the monster that stares at me, exorcist music,
reminds me that I never the same like you,
it reminds me that I never like now
and now I want the fight club, Edward Norton
feel the blood flowing inside my body
to feel less dead, this is the essence:
here no one dies of love, one can only die without.

do you have it?

Do you also have a passion that you used to practice when you were a child? Then you gave up. For many different reasons. But you always regretted that choice.

Maybe it was more than one passion. And I'm not referring to the one that you gave up because it was boring for you. I refer to that instrument, sport, game that used to relax you and make you feel special, in harmony with nature around you.

For me that was jazz dance. I gave up when I was 10 because when there was dance class I had to go to school, on Monday and Wednesday afternoons. I would anyway not have had the right "body", but I was good and I had a lot of fun. It was me and the music and the steps, that after some time you can dance automatically, without thinking, and you just have to remember to smile and enjoy.

I never thought about that. maybe my habit to be always smiling comes from dancing. The teacher often told us to be smiling!

After that, years later, I started again attending aerobics and step classes, again music, again rhythm. I always like this kind of things. And now I'm attending again a jazz dance class :)

Hi!

One year ago. It was a Sunday afternoon. Inside me there was just a mess. I decided to go for a walk on my own. I dressed myself up, walked for a long time and then netered that cafè.

I sat down on my own. I ordered a tea and an espresso. And I took my book out. I don't remember which book was that. But I started enjoying it.

The waiter had red hair. He had a sweet smile. He asked me where I came from. We had some small talk. Small words. But they were important to me on that day.

Write me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOTJ6rLi4Hw

Write me...
When the wind will have stripped the trees,
the others have gone to the cinema,
but you want to stay alone,
not in the mood to talk, then...

Write me...
It will help you feel less fragile,
when in the people you'll find
only indifference,
don't you forget me...

And if you do not have anything special to say
you do not have to worry about,
I can understand.
For me it is enough to know
that you think even just a minute about me...
Because I can be satisfied even with a simple greeting,
it is enough...
to feel closer.

Write me...
When the sky will look clearer,
now the days are getting longer,
but do not wait for the evening
if you want to sing.

Write me...
Even when you think that you have fallen in love.
Do not ever forget me
and if you do not know how to say,
you cannot find the words
you do not have to worry about,
I can understand.

For me it is enough to know
that you think even just a minute about me...
Because I can be satisfied even with a simple greeting,
it is enough...
to feel closer.
Write me...

Even when you think... that you have fallen in love.
Write me...

What...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlCuKsl6ap0

It is useless looking for a reason,

there was never anything explainable,
everything had to happen,
nothing seemed possible.
An expectable unforeseen happens,
and the mind becomes labile.
But I shall answer
if you want to ask me
what is the integral version of your thoughts,
what is the hidden track of your wishlist.
I know it.
No no no no no no no, you do no longer have to talk.
No no no no no no no, there's nothing to be explained.
No no no no no no no, feeling is just enough.
Believe me,
there's nothing to understand.

What you are to me
does not need to be explained with words,
I'll try with notes,
seeking new chords and new scales.

I stay with you

and the sun in the sky is what it is,

I stay with you

and the flower on the earth is what it is,

I stay with you

and the deep sea is what it is,
nothing would be what it is without you.

A hashish joint isn't a joint

without you,
a chord with a bass guitar isn't a chord

without you,
a friend voice isn't friendly

without you,

nothing would be what it is,

I stay with you.

What you are to me
does not need to be explained with words,
I'll try with notes,
seeking new chords and new scales.

From the silence of unsaid things
to the silence of hidden things,
to the promises telepathically announced,
mute laughs.
Choose the time to stay silent,
save your breath and let me understand you.
I know that I'd like to know you
more than I actually do.
I know that you could talk to me
if only if, only if,
I know that you could listen to me
if only if...

No no no no no no no, you do no longer have to talk.
No no no no no no no, there's nothing to be explained.
No no no no no no no, feeling is just enough.
Believe me,

there's nothing to understand.

Shortly before the sun (Kurz vor der Sonne, Juli)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqjO6isERq4

You see the day, see the hours,

that flow next to you.

And one day you close your eyes,

it seems that nothing touches you anymore.

All that was worth so much to you

lies now on the ground, is destroyed.

You want now just to go out of here,

there's nothing left which holds you back.

And you run through,

through atmosphere, space and time.

You stumble over the stars and planets

and happiness is no longer far away.

But shortly before the sun

doubts overtake you,

keep it short and look back,

your world is tiny.

Shortly before the sun

the darkness comes back,

and you realize that out here

everyone is very lonely.

Then you have almost reached the sun

and you are pulled out of your orbit

in the direction of Earth,

the only place where one can change.

All that was so much worth to you

wasn't really what you care.

Not all what we are looking for

lies where one can understand our pain.

And you run through,

through atmosphere, space and time.

You stumble over the stars and planets

and happiness is no longer far away.

But shortly before the sun

doubts overtake you,

keep it short and look back,

your world is tiny.

Shortly before the sun

the darkness comes back,

and you realize that out here

everyone is very lonely.

Breakfast at Tiffany's

"Welcome to the age of un-innocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany's, and no one has affairs to remember. Instead, we have breakfast at 7 AM, and affairs we try to forget as quickly as possible. Self-protection and closing the deal are paramount. Cupid has flown the co-op."

...from one of my favorite TV shows

but we also still like romanticism:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BOByH_iOn88

"There's such a lot of world to see."

...and my friend big blue eyes knows that well, don't you?

Maria

She walks like she don't care.
You wanna take her everywhere.
Ooh, it makes you wanna cry.

...love the rhythm of this song...

Maria, Blondie