un paese civile

...la liberta' e l'ugugaglianza...

wash away

tears washed away some stuff yesterday evening.

stuff that it is good to leave in 2010.

and live rejoicing every, every day

Erleuchtete Fenster

Today I was at the dentist's and I ran into this column. I loved it. So I got it copied from the secretaries and translated it.
Taken from the German magazine Brigitte, the author is Julia Karnick, freely translated by me:


The most beautiful aspect of the dark season is that the cities are transformed into giant aquaria: you go through dark streets and can stare through the glass into the windows of lit kitchens and living rooms and watch the people as they swim back and forth surrounded by their furniture. It always seems like you are doing something, which is a little bit prohibited. I love that.

The most beautiful of all aquarium-streets of Hamburg is the Isestraße. Left and right of the Isestraße are wall to wall multistory apartment houses in Wilhelminian style, in the houses are rich old historic apartments, in the apartments live well-earning people. In the middle of the Isestraße runs an iron bridge, on the bridge runs every five minutes the elevated railway. If on a November or January dark late afternoon you travel with the elevated train through the Isestraße at supper time, while traveling past you can look in the dinner plate of the inhabitants of the Isestrasse - which from a distance are as big as dollhouses: in the kitchens or dining rooms couples and families sit at massive tables under stucco ceilings; above them hang candelabra or other lamps which were so expensive that they are called not simply lights, but 'luminous objects'. The luminous objects emit a warm golden glow. The warm golden glow has the strange effect that of the people which are illuminated by this glow one cannot even imagine that they cheat on their partners, abuse their children, blaspheme their colleagues, drink too much , or get intestinal flu.

The inhabitants of the Isestrasse have so little against the fact that one looks into their homes as the Calvinism-oriented inhabitants of the Netherlands, where large at-ground-level street-facing curtain-free windows deliver the message: 'We have nothing to hide'. Only that the inhabitants of the Isestrasse maybe go one step further: 'We have something to show'. Luminous objects, for example.

I grew up in a suburb where in front of each window were hanging curtains and quite many neighborhood residents were living in the cold glow of white neon tubes or, if they were very very hard on it, in the almost-frosty glow of purple translucent neon lights. In this light appeared, reasonably veiled by curtains, all sort of things: murder, intrigue, depravity. My parents had a kitchen curtain, however in the living room behind it many small cozy lamps lit my happy childhood. Still, every time I traveled through the Isestraße as a teenager, I thought: "When I grow up, I also want to live behind such a curtain-less window, where you enjoy to look and to let look."

Later I moved out and I lived in my own apartments. After each move, I have made the street test. I switched on the lights in the rooms which faced the street. I went outside. I stood on the street; the higher we lived the farther away from our house I had to stand in order to be able to see what I wanted to see. I imagined that I was not I and my apartment was not mine. Then I watched myself in the window, verifying.

Yes, I probably have a screw loose. What I saw never reached the approximate standard of the Isestrasse, but mostly I was reasonably satisfied, sometimes even quite happy. Then I went back inside.


Just to have an idea of what we are talking about: the elevated railway, the houses in Wilhelminian style, and one of these windows...

I expereinced something similar on the elevated railway in Sydney, though there it was summer, full daylight and I could see people in their offices...

Saramago

Inside us there is something that has no name, that something is what we are.

There are plenty of reasons not to put up with the world as it is.

and my favorites:

Human vocabulary is still not capable, and probably never will be, of knowing, recognizing, and communicating everything that can be humanly experienced and felt.

Words were not given to man in order to conceal his thoughts.

Xmas recipe

take a bunch of friends, some mulled wine, chocolate, snow, good mood and start singing.

it's a recipe that warms your heart. if you believe in Xmas. or if not.

take care

nessuno me lo ha mai detto, o promesso. ma io la vivo così.

per me quasi sempre passare la notte con qualcuno è un reciproco scambio. voglio dire, non è un legame che uno ha con tutti. e io tra le altre cose ci vedo una specie di implicita promessa di rispetto, di prendersi cura dell'altro. lo so, non è vero. spesso un tale messaggio non è neanche implicato da una relazione, figurati da una o più notti trascorse insieme.

però qualche volta nella mia vita ha funzionato così. e mi piacerebbe pensare che questo vale in generale.

notti insonni

avevo un amico di notti insonni. purtroppo credo di averlo perso along the way.

peccato. e ora le notti insonni sono un po' più solitarie.

cold

when you're on the outside baby and you can`t get in
i will show you you're so much better than you know
when you're lost and you're alone and you cant get back again
i will find you darling and i will bring you home

and if you want to cry
i am here to dry your eyes
and in no time
you'll be fine

you think i'd leave your side baby
you know me better than that
you think id leave you down when you're down on your knees
i wouldn't do that
i'll tell you you're right when you (want)
ha ah ah ah ah ah
and if only you could see into me

oh when you're cold
i'll be there
hold you tight to me
when you're low
i'll be there
by your side baby

hold on

the end of the year seems a good time for a change. because there must be a change.

how am I gonna do it? Well, I have a couple of ideas and a couple of them I will have to get along the way.

1. yoga every day

2. meals without tv

3. no past. NO PAST. no past.

hold on, magnolia, hold on. keep going.

because the person in the mirror is just the person I decide to be.

il meccansimo

domande lasciate aperte. mai risposte. chissà se ne riceveranno mai una.

chissà.

oggi mi hai mandato un sms. dopo anni di silenzio, o quasi. dopo anni di indifferenza. e hai risvegliato un po' di cose. quella insicurezza. quella paura che non sarò mai come gli altri. quella paura di rimanere sempre e comunque in seconda fila. perchè a me si vuole bene da subito. ma mai più di quello. perchè io sono l'amica di. punto.

...ti pensavo. quanti ricordi... quante esperienze... quanti momenti belli o meno... mi manchiamo. ti voglio bene magnolia.

somehow i forgot

I tried to be a boy
I tried to be a girl
I tried to be a mess
I tried to be the best
I guess I did it wrong

...

I tried to stay ahead
I tried to stay on top
I tried to play the part
But somehow I forgot
Just what I did it for
And why I wanted more

...

I’m drinkin’ a soy latte, I get a double shoté
It goes right through my body and you know I’m satisfied
...
I do yoga and Pilates and the room is full of hotties
So I’m checkin’ out the bodies and you know I’m satisfied
I’m diggin’ on the isotopes, this metaphysics s*** is dope
And if all this can give me hope you know I’m satisfied

Primo

"Devo dire che l'esperienza di Auschwitz è stata tale per me da spazzare qualsiasi resto di educazione religiosa che pure ho avuto. C'è Auschwitz, dunque non può esserci Dio. Non trovo una soluzione al dilemma. La cerco, ma non la trovo."

Voi che vivete sicuri
nelle vostre tiepide case,
voi che trovate tornando a sera
il cibo caldo e visi amici:
Considerate se questo è un uomo
che lavora nel fango
che non conosce pace
che lotta per mezzo pane
che muore per un si o per un no.
Considerate se questa è una donna,
senza capelli e senza nome
senza più forza di ricordare
vuoti gli occhi e freddo il grembo
come una rana d'inverno.
Meditate che questo è stato:
vi comando queste parole.
Scolpitele nel vostro cuore
stando in casa andando per via,
coricandovi, alzandovi.
Ripetetele ai vostri figli.
O vi si sfaccia la casa,
la malattia vi impedisca,
i vostri nati torcano il viso da voi.

like the sunshine

Change your heart
Look around you
Change your heart
It will astound you
I need your lovin'
Like the sunshine

Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime
Everybody's gotta learn sometime

ogni tanto mi chiedo cosa sia che io devo imparare. chiaramente devo imparare. perchè non funziona. perchè lo schema si ripete volta dopo volta. mirare in alto e arrivare secondi. sfiorare la meta e poi inciampare. perchè?
dove sbaglio? dove?

why else

this is gonna be good.

why else would I be crying?


musicaling in the morning

travel back in time...

...meet the past me and ask her: "why the hell do you wanna get a Ph.D.?????????"

but I haven't met you yet

I miss you
But I haven't met you yet
So special
But it hasn't happened yet
You are gorgeous
But I haven't met you yet
I remember
But it hasn't happened yet

And if you believe in dreams
Or what is more important
That a dream can come true
I, I will meet you
I was peaking

But it hasn't happened yet
I haven't been given
My best souvenir
I miss you
But I haven't met you yet
I know your habits
But wouldn't recognize you yet

And if you believe in dreams
Or what is more important
That a dream can come true
I miss you

I'm so impatient
I can't stand the wait
When will I get my cuddle?
Who are you?
I know by now that you'll arrive
By the time I stop waiting
I miss you

naturally curly hair

here are explained the causes of my ambition

nuovo

sento la necessita' di avere nuovi ricordi a cui aggrapparmi, nuove braccia nelle quali perdermi, nuovi occhi a cui sorridere.

i ricordi vecchi sono ormai sbiaditi, abbelliti e idealizzati sotto lo strato di polvere. Quelle braccia e quegli occhi sembrano gli unici possibili. ma non e' vero.

e nonostante queste temperature gelide mi sento viva come da molto tempo ormai non succedeva. rapiscimi, istinto, cancella quel senso del dovere e quel desiderio di raggiungere obiettivi.

Narciso parole di burro
si sciolgono sotto l'alito della passione
Narciso trasparenza e mistero
cospargimi di olio alle mandorle e vanità modellami…

Raccontami le storie che ami inventare spaventami
raccontami le nuove esaltanti vittorie
Conquistami inventami
dammi un'altra identità
stordiscimi disarmami e infine colpisci
abbracciami ed ubriacami
di ironia e sensualità

mi sento svuotata

guadagnarsi il rispetto

Spero che la Sua ricerca di fede abbia un seguito ulteriore e che Lei possa un poco alla volta riscoprire il valore oggettivo di molte realta' che al presente possono risultarLe per tanti motivi, anche contingenti, offuscate. Il dialogo aperto della preghiera potra' contribuire non poco ad aprire molte strade perche' aiuta a superare ostacoli che a volte paiono insormontabili.

grazie. per avermi mostrato ancora una volta che c'e' della bellezza e del candore.

Hurry down the chimney tonight!

Santa Baby,
Just slip a sable under the tree
For me
Been an awful good girl
Santa Baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby,
A 54 convertible too
Light blue
I'll wait up for you, dear
Santa baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the Fella's that I haven't kissed
Next year I could be just as good
If you'll check out my Christmas list

Santa Baby,
I want a yacht and really that's not
A lot
Been an angel all year
Santa Baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa Honey,
one little thing i really need
The deed
To a platinum mine
Santa Baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie,
Fill my stocking with a duplex
And checks
Sign your 'x' on the line
Santa cutie,
and hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's
I really do believe in you
Let´s see if you believe in me

Santa Baby,
Forgot to mention one little thing
A ring
I don't mean on the phone
Santa Baby,
So hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry...tonight

the way I feel

I found these great photos.

they perfectly express the way one feels some days.

when it is raining and you are traveling by train on your own.

to a dear person.

or back from a trip.

wondering about the future.

or having the blues.

The photos were taken by Adriano Zanni under the license Creative Commons

risate

Hi, Amy, it's mom.

[...]

I thought I would give you a little list of the things that I wish for you.

Well, there's the obvious. An education. Family. Friends. And a life that is full of the unexpected.

Be sure to make mistakes. Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow

And I want you to spend a lot of time at the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream, and I insist that you, my girl, be a dreamer.

God. I've never really believed in god. In fact, I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that god exists. But I hope that you are able to believe in god, because the thing that I've come to realize, sweetheart... is that it just doesn't matter if god exists or not. The important thing is for you to believe in something, because I promise you that that belief will keep you warm at night, and I want you to feel safe always.

And then there's love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers, and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient, and it'll come to you, I promise

[..]

And remember, to love is to live.